Wednesday, July 16, 2014


I have created a monster. Tuesday evening my friend Michele and I went to the Fayette County Fair.

Michele, who lives in the Cincinnati area, had brought a few things for my handyman to repair and decided to come pick them up and go to the demolition derby (a 7pm event) with me. She usually spends a couple days with me when she visits. Michele brought a chair she wanted repaired, so my handyman is working on that while she is here.

At 4:30pm we headed out to the fair, park and go see the exhibits. We walked around the Mahan Building, which was a bit of a disappointment this year. There were not as many exhibitors (probably because the fair board raised the prices of spaces) and there were no freebies being given away this year. In past years, we could always get free pens, pencils, paper, yard sticks, and that kind of items from vendors. Nothing this year.

We walked through the poultry barn and saw turkeys with their feathers spread out like a peacock, and a chicken getting blown dry with a hairdryer, sights we had not seen before. I pet a prize-winning white rabbit whose owner was walking through the barn.

Then we walked through the cattle barn and proceeded to the goat area. One goat really liked to have his ears scratched and loved all the attention.

At the Pork Producers building, we got pork tenderloin sandwiches and sat to rest a bit. It was almost advertised time for the demolition derby to start so I got my fried onion rings and we headed for the truck, which was parked on the horse track for great viewing of the event.

We set up the chairs and prepared for some crash action. As the grandstand was filling up, they announced that since a few participants were not there yet, the derby would not start until 8pm. I don't think the crowd was happy about it.

As we sat there waiting, Michele went to get an order of fried veggies, that is after consuming an ear of corn and a carmel apple. Fair Food! After a children's event of mini-cars, and the mower event, the derby FINALLY got underway. The temperature dropped to 64 degrees and we put on sweatshirts to keep warm. After the sun went down, we had to cover up with my brown fuzzy blanket.

It is the middle of July and two women are in sweatshirts covered with a blanket to watch an event sitting in the back of my truck. Something is just not right about the weather this week. Too cold.

One of my girlfriends was texting me constantly during the derby time, because her husband is a fireman who was on duty at the derby. He did come over to say hi before the event started. Michele started laughing at our texts and the more we joked about things the more we laughed.

When the derby started, she would always root for the underdog of the last two cars going at it. She really got “into” this derby crash-em-up thing. She hollared and we laughed and had so much fun. Then it was over about 9:45pm and we headed home. There were not as many events as in past derbies, because the fair has been going downhill lately. But we still had FUN! Now Michele loves the demolition derby.

When we got home, to top off the food-fest, we had a bowl of ice cream before bedtime. Oh, stomach prepare thee!

Now, why did I call this blog AIR HOSE. Because the funniest statement made during our evening was about an air hose. As we were walking through the Mahan Building, I happen to see an ex-friend working at an exhibit booth. We don't speak, but I was taken totally aback by his recent severe weight gain (50-75 pounds).

While walking near the grandstands a bit later, I saw the fire chief and asked him if he found his missing air hose. A slight look of confusion crossed his face. Then I said, “You know, the one that someone used to blow him up like a balloon!” I didn't need to mention any name; he knew who I was talking about. Laughter broke out all around.

I am sorry that the person was obviously not taking care of himself like in the past, but the shock was too great to ignore. By the comments that followed, it was all taken in good fun.

Rapid weight gain is sometimes a sign of severe unhappiness. I hope he seeks help or finds some happiness in life soon, so he can experience the laughter that Michele and I had watching the derby. Laughter is good for the body and soul.

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