Saturday, March 31, 2012
A young man just had his first customer, which turned out to be a BIG BURLY truck driver. The young man walked up to the table where the truck driver was sitting and asked; can I take your order sir? The truck driver replied, sure kid I want three flat tires and two headlights.
The young man was very puzzled and said, I beg your pardon? The truck driver said again, look kid; I want three flat tires and two headlights. The young man was still puzzled, but replied; yes sir, whatever.
The young man then took the request to his boss who was the head cook. He told him about the truck driver's order, and that he wanted three flat tires and two headlights, “I think he's in the wrong place.”
The head cook said, I know what he wants, he wants three flap jacks and two eggs sunny side up; the truck driver is just trying to be smart, I know him. The cook said to the waiter here, take this bowl of beans, give it to him and say this.
The truck driver said, Listen kid, I didn't order this; I said I wanted three flat tires and two headlights. The waiter replied, Well sir, the head cook said while you wait for your parts, you can gas up!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of an enormous forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.
"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.
After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
"There" says the vet, "Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat.
The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.
Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be $1,000, please". "A $1,000 bill just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her.
So son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her.
Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included thinking he would surely win her approval.
Son #3 had to do something even better than these so he bought her a trained parrot. This parrot had been trained for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could mention any verse in the Bible and the parrot could quote it word for word. How useful his nearly blind mother would find that!
Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's much too large for me to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway."
Then she explained to her second son, "Son, the car is beautiful, it has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and I really don't like that driver, so please return the car."
Next, she went to son number three and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for that thoughtful gift. The chicken was small, but delicious."
Monday, March 26, 2012
A 17th Century captain was sailing along with his crew when a pirate ship came over the horizon. The captain says, "Cabin boy, get me my red shirt." So, he gets his red shirt and they victoriously battle the pirates.
Several days later, they spot another pirate ship off the port bow. "Cabin boy," says the captain "get me my red shirt." They again battle the pirates and are victorious.
Later when things had settled down, the cabin boy asks, "Captain, why do you always want your red shirt just prior to battle?"
The captain responds, "Well, in case I am inflicted with a wound, I don't want the crew to see my injury and lose spirit."
"I see," says the cabin boy.
A few days later, they sight 20 pirates in the distance and the captain yells out, "Cabin boy, get me my brown pants."
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Pecan Day is a rather nutty day. Its a day to celebrate and enjoy popular, tasty pecans. Apparently, someone thought that it was such a great nut, that they created two days to celebrate Pecans. One in March, and the other in April. A little nutty perhaps, but true.
Name the only nut tree native to North America... You guessed it... Pecan trees.
Celebrate Pecan Day (today) and National Pecan Day (April 14) by cracking open and eating a few pecan nuts. Also, have some pecan pie. Or just have a nutty day!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Tom is eating, Daisy waits her turn. They always SHARE.
When you listen to or read the news of the past couple weeks, there are certainly monstrous crimes being committed around the world. For example, the Afghan shooting of women and children, or the shooting of an unarmed teenage boy in Florida, or the various school shootings of late.
Those events evoke responses from the general public from sadness to outrage when reported on numerous times by the media.
But what about the monsters who live among us, in a small town, on a short street where everyone supposedly knows everyone else? What do you do if a monster lives next door or right across the street?
I have witnessed a neighbor kick a cat, and turn his water hose on a cat to chase it from his yard. The man hates cats. Another neighbor also hates cats, but loves dogs. Dogs and cats are loveable, loyal pets. No one should abuse them, yet it has been happening.
Tom knows where he lives, he knows where he gets fed, and he is a loveable cat who knows his name. Tom has been around here for at least two or three years and has been blessed with “shared custody.” I call “Tom” and he would “meow” his acknowledgment at me that he is on his way across the street, slowly. Tom has a limp in his back leg due to being kicked or hurt about a year ago on our street. Tom spends his time at my house and at my friend's house across the street. She fills his food bowl every morning on her porch, and I fill his food dish on my porch every afternoon. He is well fed. Tom either sleeps on the chair on my porch, or under my porch which is sheltered from wind and rain, or on my friend's porch where she has a dog box filled with straw where he can hide for the night.
Daisy loves attention.
About a year ago, Tom took a mate, even though he was “fixed.” We named her Daisy. Where Tom was - Daisy was close beside. Daisy was even more loveable than Tom. She begs for attention. She would get petted, then lie down to get her belly scratched. She loved attention and being talked to; and she knew her name after a while. I would call to her and she'd come running to check out the food dish (with water).
Free spirits, but inseparable. My camera just missed them nose-to-nose kissing.
Being free-spirits, they wandered through about six yards near my house and my friend's house. But they were never far away. Tom and Daisy were present daily for many months, even weathering the snow we've experienced in the last couple years. Until recently.
My neighbor next door owns a trap cage and used to trap skunks that wandered into his yard from the wooded area nearby. About two weeks ago, I saw the same size and type of cage placed next to the side of a garage across the street. I knew we had not seen, nor smelled, any skunks yet. I kept an eye on that cage daily to make sure Tom and Daisy stayed away from it. Being well fed, I guessed that the lure of canned food would turn up their noses. Daisy refused to eat wet canned cat food so I only used dry food.
About 10 days ago, Tom came to eat, but Daisy was missing. I didn't start to worry until the second day. She never missed her “attention-time” from me. After the third day, my friend and I were really worried that somehow she had been trapped, hurt, or killed. Daisy had been missing for about 7 days and we noticed Tom was slow and listless. Tom was in depression, missing his girlfriend; but he was still showing up and we tried to comfort him with attention. The cage was still visible, and two days later, it was gone. The cage – and Tom.
We called for him, we put out food for him, but he didn't come home. Tom was also missing, just a short time after Daisy went missing. I have not seen the cage since.
I found out from The Fayette County Humane Society that trapping someone's cat and dropping it off somewhere, is a crime called abandonment. The violator can be charged and prosecuted. I went to see the Humane officer to report the incident, since it is very strange that both Daisy and Tom would disappear from their homes within a week from each other. They were creatures of habit and knew where to get food and attention. My friend and I loved them and we miss them. We can't believe we have such a potential monster living among us.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Spring begins today in the Northern Hemisphere, March 20, 2012, at 1:14 A.M.(EDT)
The Vernal Equinox
Ah, spring! This season brings increasing daylight, warming temperatures, and the rebirth of the flowers.
The word equinox is derived from the Latin words meaning “equal night.” The spring and fall equinoxes are the only dates with equal daylight and dark as the Sun crosses the celestial equator. At the equinoxes, the tilt of Earth relative to the Sun is zero, which means that Earth’s axis neither points toward nor away from the Sun. (However, the tilt of Earth relative to its plane of orbit, called the ecliptic plane, is always about 23.5 degrees.)
Signs of Spring
Spring is also the time when worms begin to emerge from the earth, ladybugs land on screen doors, green buds appear, birds chirp, and flowers begin to bloom. The vernal, or spring, equinox signals the beginning of nature’s renewal in the Northern Hemisphere.
I welcome the warmer temperatures that we've been having, look forward to seeing all the flowers in bloom, and I'm very happy SPRING HAS FINALLY SPRUNG!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
St. Patrick's Day was originally a Roman Catholic holiday celebrating Ireland's patron saint and observed only in Ireland; it was not until the 1700's when Irish immigrants in the U.S. started the first St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York City.
The March 17th tradition of wearing green is explained in differing ways. It's said that blue was originally the color associated with the holiday but over time green took over in popularity due to Ireland's nickname as "The Emerald Isle", the green in the Irish flag and the clover that St. Patrick used in his teachings about Catholicism.
This day brings out the green in everyone. If it's just not St. Patrick's day to you without a pint of green beer, add one drop of green food coloring to a pint of your favorite brew. Naturally the green shows through better with lighter colored beer but any beer will do. Even a jet black stout will get a distinctly green head if you add a drop of color to the glass before pouring.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I went to let my dog out in the backyard this evening and something caught my eye. I am always observant of my yard for her safety.
I have been watching the early growth of greenery very closely due to the warm temperatures. Something was different, even in the dark.
I walked out to see my FIRST BLOOM of the season in my yard. Three daffodils had emerged during the day in the nice sunshine. They were not there yesterday - I looked.
It's nice how Mother Nature just snaps her fingers and the blooms appear to bask in the springtime sun. I have never had a daffodil bloom in March before. There is another patch out by the fence and I'm sure in no time they will also be blooming large.
LOVE THE EARLY SPRING!
Monday, March 12, 2012
We are born into this universe with a path. That path is where we learn, grow, and mature. We are not seeking a destination, only continued growth on that path.
Those who are trying to get somewhere in life are missing the big picture. To live life, immerse one's self in every moment possible along the journey of life. If we are so preoccupied with our destination, how will we enjoy our journey? People race through their lives attempting to end up somewhere, all the while never actually appreciating the actual journey itself.
Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments. The road will not always be smooth; in fact, we will encounter many challenges.
Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only we don't realize it at the time. It is because of the heartaches, as well as the hardships, that help to make us a stronger person.
Life is a series of experiences. Each one teaches us things. Whether miserable, or wonderful, each one helps us grow along our journey. We need to learn every step of the way. We must embrace each moment, and live them fully. Live each moment IN the moment, and allow them to carry you along the journey. There are steps to take you somewhere that you will end up naturally. Once you reach that, who knows where you will go? Life is a journey that is full of endless destinations.
The people we meet on our journey, are people that we are destined to meet. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason and we don't always know their purpose until it is too late.
It is often the people who stay for only a short time that end up making a lasting impression not only in our lives, but in our hearts. Although we may not realize it at the time, they will make a difference and change our lives in a way we never could imagine.
These experiences give us strength to continue our journey. We know that we can always look back on those past times and remember the wonderful moments that we have shared with that person.
Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in our hearts. We must look inside ourselves to find inner strength. Our eyes are suddenly opened to a world where time is so precious and moments never seem to last long enough.
Throughout time people will give you advice on how to live your life, but when it comes down to it, you must always do what you feel is right. Always follow your heart, and most importantly never have any regrets. Say what you want to say, do what you want to do.
Everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and sometimes that means we must face heartaches in order to experience joy.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
This evening I had a significant event (if you can call it that) happen. I call it my little catastrophe. No easy dinner for me tonight. Old fashioned cooking on the stove came back in style in my house. I don't do that often.
My microwave oven died. Tomorrow I will give it a decent burial – the trash. There was no saving it – no revival.
I cook most everything in the microwave, and a few things in a crock pot. Eggs, grilled cheese, and pancakes still get cooked on the stove.
I was ready to put an old fashioned Chicken Pot Pie in the microwave. I heard a popping sound and a burning smell right away and stopped the cycle by hitting the stop button immediately. When I removed the glass tray and the round rubber piece that makes the tray turn, I noticed that the bottom of the inside was severely cracked. It looked like a hole had opened up at the center of the cracks.
My microwave has lived a good life here. It has aged slowly but steadily. It was my mother's microwave for at LEAST three years before her death, and she's been gone seven years. It was well cared for and cleaned regularly for 10 or 11 years.
Tomorrow I will go shopping to see if I can find a reasonably priced replacement. A microwave is something I just won't live without. I have too many items in my freezer that are microwaveable only. Microwaves have become a staple in most kitchens in America. It makes cooking faster and simpler for busy people, and seniors. I prefer a microwaved baked potato to one cooked in the oven for 45 minutes (which also heats up the kitchen).
Last year the ice maker on my refrigerator broke. The plastic piece that come directly out of the unit in the freezer broke at the hose connection. I have not had the money for the Sears service call to fix it. So instead, I buy bags of ice, which last several weeks. I just fill the ice reservoir and the door dispenser still works fine. (It was also my mother's refrigerator for many years.) Living in a rented duplex before moving into the family home, I didn't have my own refrigerator or stove.
I will live with a broken ice maker, but I won't live without a good microwave! Life happens and we adapt the best we can. As long as I can keep my good mood and keep smiling, everything will be fine.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Barbie was introduced to the world on March 9, 1959.
The Barbie doll was invented in 1959 by Ruth Handler (co-founder of Mattel), whose own daughter was called Barbara. Barbie was introduced to the world at the American Toy Fair in New York City. Barbie's job was teenage fashion doll. The Ken doll was named after Ruth's son and was introduced two years after Barbie in 1961.
The full name of the first doll was Barbie Millicent Roberts, from Willows, Wisconsin. Barbie's job was that of teenage fashion model. However, the doll has been made in versions connected to over 125 different careers.
The first Barbie was sold for $3. Additional clothing based on the latest runway trends from Paris were sold, costing from $1 to $5. In the first year (1959), 300,000 Barbie dolls were sold. Today, a mint condition "#1" (1959 Barbie doll) can fetch as much as $27,450. To date, over 70 fashion designers have made clothes for Mattel.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
In this April, 5,1965 file photo actress Debbie Reynolds poses with Academy awards winners for best music Richard M. Sherman, right and Robert Sherman, left, who received the award for Mary Poppins in Santa Monica Calif. Songwriter Sherman, who wrote the tongue-twisting "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" and other enduring songs for Disney classics, has died. He was 86.
Twice this evening I thought my phone was ringing, but when I looked at it, it was silent. I looked at the TV screen and saw Mary Poppins singing the song "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from the movie.
I have that song as a ringtone on my phone designated for a friend. I heard the news story that the author just died.
How do you sum up the work of songwriter Robert B. Sherman? Try one word: "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
The tongue-twisting term, sung by magical nanny Mary Poppins, is like much of Sherman's work — both complex and instantly memorable, for child and adult alike. Once heard, it was never forgotten.
Sherman, an American who died in London at age 86, was half of a sibling partnership that put songs into the mouths of nannies.
Robert Sherman and his brother Richard composed scores for films including "The Jungle Book," "The Aristocats," "Mary Poppins" and "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." They also wrote the most-played tune on Earth, "It's a Small World (After All)."
Monday, March 5, 2012
Today, I read an article that said that U.S. consumers spent more than $50 billion dollars on pet care in 2011. Read the article here.
Pets are family, pets are important life-savers, companions to seniors, and teachers to children.
A friend of mine has a blog and a website called Ali's Mischievous Pets. Please visit the blog and visit his online pet store. The online pet store has sections for dogs, cats, birds, and many small animals. You can find links to adoption sites, and advice on pet care.
See the blog here.
See the online pet store here.
If you are a pet owner, pet lover, or just care about your friend's pet, you'll find something you'll like at this new store.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
I went to Chillicothe on Thursday and passed something so interesting, I had to stop to take a picture, then research it. I learned the following:
Bluffton, Ohio is a village partially in Allen and partially in Hancock Counties. The village was founded by European settlers in 1832.
Bluffton is home to Bluffton University, a four-year educational institution affiliated with Mennonite Church USA. The Mennonite Church USA is an Anabaptist Christian denomination in the United States which has roots in the Radical Reformation of the 16th century. The Mennonite church is committed to nonviolence, social justice and voluntary service.
Bluffton has a population of about 4,000 with a total area of 3.4 square miles, of which 3.3 square miles is land and 0.04 square mile is water. There are many Amish Mennonites who live in Bluffton. Since most Amish live on farms, they had their own mode of mail delivery. Thus, the Amish Mail Buggy I saw for sale on a lot in Chillicothe.
Bluffton is also home to many small, family-run businesses, including florists, bakeries, and coffee shops, including Ohio's largest teddy bear store, and a full service quilt shop. Bluffton has 6 fast food restaurants, and is also home to the grocery store chain known locally as Community Markets.
In addition, I learned that veteran broadcaster Hugh Downs was a student at Bluffton University and later began his broadcasting career at WLOK in nearby Lima. And actress Phyllis Diller lived in Bluffton while attending Bluffton College.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Two women were talking and the one asks the other how many times she’s been married, and the reply was 4. “Four times!” exclaimed the first woman, “why so many?”
So the other woman said: “Well, I first got married when I was very young, and I married this wonderful man who was a banker. However, one day just a few weeks after we were married, his bank was robbed and he was shot and killed.”
“Oh my gosh, that’s terrible,” the first woman said.
“Well, it wasn’t that tragic. Soon after that, I started seeing another man who performed in the circus. He was really a great guy, but he lived pretty dangerously, because he performed his high-wire act without a net. Well, a few weeks after we got married, he was performing a show and suddenly a gust of wind came by and knocked him off his wire and he was killed.”
“Your second husband was killed too?!!? That’s horrible!”
“Yes, it was terrible, but at the funeral I fell in love with the minister and we got married soon after that. Unfortunately, one Sunday while he was walking to church, he was hit by a car and killed.”
“Three husbands of yours were killed?!? How could you live through all that?”
“It was pretty tough, but then I met my present husband. And he’s a wonderful man. I think we’ll live a long happy life together.”
“And what does your present husband do for a living?”
“He’s a mortician.”
“A mortician? I don’t understand something here. First you marry a banker, then a circus performer, then a minister, and now a mortician? Why such a diverse grouping of husbands?”
“Well, if you think about it, it’s not too hard to understand... One for the money... Two for the show... Three to get ready... And four to go!”