IT'S MONDAY

I'LL HELP YOU!

One afternoon a politician was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the politician said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the politician replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the politician answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the politician and said, "Sir, you are too kind."

"Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The politician replied, "Glad to do it.
"You'll really love my place…

The grass is almost a foot high"

MY BIG BABY

I have the most wonderful dog (child-to me). She is smart, obedient, and funny. She amuses me with her play, educated me to love and companionship, and loves unconditionally.

She was about a year old when I got her six years ago, and fully obedience trained. However, I did achieve one bit of training on my own. I taught her to eat off a fork or spoon. I must admit she's spoiled and does get a treat of "people food" more than she should. But don't most people spoil their kids is some way? See 20 seconds for yourself...

A SHREDDING EXPERIENCE

Saturday was the Merchants Bank sponsored "Shred It" truck day. People started lining up at 11:30am I was told. I left home at 12:09pm and got in line at the corner of Broadway and North Street. The line went up to the alley behind the church, went through the alley, turned left at the alley across from the entrance to Merchants Bank on East Street, and then two traffic lines were formed to drive to the truck. I was surprised at all the cars waiting in line. In just a couple minutes after I got in line, there were about eight cars in line behind me extending down North Street.





Many brought trash bags full, and many brought boxes and boxes full. I had two tote boxes full. I finally got my file cabinet cleaned out. My mother was a paper saver, even though seven years was the standard back then. I found her tax returns from 1971 to 2004 inclusive. I was a little surprised, but not shocked. All her Medicare bills and bank statements were also disposed of. I also had many years worth of old papers and bank statements. It felt good to empty more than two drawers of that old file cabinet.




The line moved along fairly well and when it was my turn, I opened the back of the truck and one guy took one tote and another guy took the other tote, handed them to the worker in the truck, and all the papers were dumped into the shredder. You could hear the grinding of the shredding motor from well outside the truck. When I finally drove out of the bank parking lot, it was 1:00pm.




Wilma Coulter from the bank, whom I've known for many years, told me that the Shred It company charges $200 per hour for their services, and it was Merchants Bank's gift to the community to have the truck available for two hours so people could have all their personal documents shredded in an attempt to avoid identity theft. I know I counted at least 50 cars in my vision as I made it through the line, and they had another hour to go after I left.

I think the effort to get people to shred their documents was a great success. I hope they do it again. I have a few more file drawers to clean out for next time!

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.

One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.

Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.

The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...'

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

AGING FEAR

LIFE

Life is sometimes like a baseball game. Sometimes you hit a home run. Sometimes you just get on base. Sometimes you strike out.

Just take each pitch in stride, get through the innings, and wait for another game. Tomorrow is another day!

FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

LIFE GOES ON!